NotaPushyMum.Com

Hello,
I'm more of a lurker here but I've just had a long conversation with my friend and I wasn't able to advise or help her. I wondered if anyone here could?

She and I have been friends since school, our daughters are 5 months apart and they go to drama classes together, they're inseparable. She recently attended an audition for a scholarship with a private drama school from September (year 7). Her daughter was offered a place however, from what I understand, when she clarified about scholarship or bursary she was told she had missed those and offers had already gone out. She was surprised and went back and checked her emails. Sure enough it was confirmed that she was attending a scholarship audition. She's queried again, I think she's hoping she can try again for year 8. She's extremely frustrated and upset. She was realistic, she knew her daughter might not get a scholarship anyway and she'd have to break hard news but she's more upset that her daughter put a lot of hard work in and wasn't even get considered.

I can't really suggest anything other than a glass of wine and write it off but feel I need to offer more than that - any thoughts?

She's recently left a pretty nasty marriage and has had to deal with a lot of rubbish recently. Her self esteem and confidence is at an all time low but she plasters on a smile for people every day. Her daughter is an absolute sweetheart, so well adjusted considering. I just want something to go right for them, you know? I hate that I can't do anything.

Hi
Am so sorry for your friend and her daughter. Unfortunately I can't help but just wondering would it help your friend to try and clarify the situation a bit more ? I'm not clear if it was a scholarship audition that your friends DD attended and they have given out bursaries/ scholarships from that audition or are they saying that there were never going to be any scholarships available ? If its the latter then your friend has been misled and she might feel better for pointing this out to the school as management of expectations is important !

In the meantime .... wine and support is always good .... and your friend's DD is young and has time ahead of her !

Good luck with it all - you are clearly a v supportive friend

Firstly, huge congratulations on the offer of a place. I would definitely query the fact that the email clearly said 'scholarship' audition.
Even take a copy of the email and send it back to them...explain that it would be a real financial hardship but that her daughter really wants to go to the school. Would a part scholarship help at all? Maybe suggest that to them..good luck and keep us posted.

Littleone - From what I gather and have seen on the email trail, she contacted them last year re funding and then booked and paid for a taster day and audition. She was clear about requiring funding and even clarified if the audition was for full time scholarship funding and was told yes. When she got the offer she asked when she would hear about funding. From that point the emails turned quite cold and curt and she was told they'd had the scholarship auditions last month so she'd missed the boat and in no uncertain terms could anything be done. I actually thought it was quite cruel; she has spent time and money on this including time off for her and her daughter and ultimately for no reason. Ok, let's be honest, her daughter might not have got funding still but at least she was prepared for that. To find out it was never an option is more falling I think. I told her she should go back to the person she confirmed it with and see what they say - as in, could she try again next year maybe? Personally I think she should just forget it, the way she was spoken to subsequently was, in my opinion, just unpleasant and there wasn't any need for it. She raved about how lovely the school and staff were prior to that too.

As heartbreaking as it is, I would lay this to rest and move on. If that is their reaction then that speaks volumes to me.
You are a fantastic friend and will be there to support her. There are other opportunities and other options I’m sure, this one just isn’t to be. The more it’s pursued, the nastier it will get.

Hi fracturedrainbow

It sounds like your friend has been treated badly. I agree with Riverdancefan in that its probably better for your friend and her daughter to put it to rest and move on to looking at schools more worthy of their time and efforts I wonder if a carefully worded email to the school detailing your friends experience (perhaps when emotions have settled a bit) would help her 'close' the episode as well as making it clear that their process has been far from satisfactory ?

Good luck to them for future auditions.

I agree. Leave it now. No more emails to the school as if she did want to try again there's no point in risking annoying them. However their treatment would leave a sour note for me and maybe they're not the right choice. All smiles if they think you might pay up then curt replies does speak volumes. What area do you live in? There are a few free options eg in Birmingham BOA or Brit school (a bit older age group). Otherwise I would advise to do a good local theatre group and book summer schools or try NYT short courses. Your girls could go together and have fun. You sound like a good friend. Sometimes these things happen for a reason and it may not have been the right school anyway.