Am Dram Problems

[igloobabe]

Just wanted to let off steam about a situation that has arisen in my dd's theatre company. It is an amateur company that puts on at least 3 shows a year, dd has been going since she was 7, despite her voice and acting ability she never had a main part until she was 11. Since then she has had a lot of main roles but almost always got the matinee performance while someone older got the evening. Now she is one of the older ones, but she always ends up sharing a part with her best friend, who's a great actress but not as good a singer, so she still ended up with the matinee. So she was delighted when finally this term her friend got Scaramouche and L got Meatloaf in We Will Rock You. Again the parts are shared , but since Christmas she has been working in a cast group with her friend and her age group, and the other cast group are a couple of years younger. L has formed strong bonds with her fellow actor and has been absolutely full of enthusiasm about how it's going. Last night, they were told which performance they would be doing, and suddenly, with no explanation, she has been put in the younger group, in the matinee AGAIN and a girl 2 years younger(and truthfully, not better) has been put on the older group, with L's friends, in the evening! This girl was happier in the group she was in, because she's new and has built a relationship with her fellow actors. Now, with 2 weeks to go till the shows, all the kids have to get used to working with a different person for no good reason!
L came home in tears having put a brave face on it in front of the others, but she is now convinced she is either useless, or that the leaders don't like her, and it left her feeling so low she didn't even want to go today to a recording studio for a free day's recording(she won at Open Mic) She went in the end and did some great singing, but she has rehearsal again tomorrow and is dreading it.
I know kids are supposed to be able to deal with rejection, but this seems really cruel, particularly as I'd had a chat with one of the leaders about how excited she was to be performing with her best friend on more than one occasion. In fact, he did say that he was 'annoyed 'that they had formed their own groups, and was going to 'mix it up a bit'! But why should this annoy him? Surely, since he didn't bother to put them into groups, they would naturally gravitate towards their own age group! In the end, the only person who this has really hurt is L, because at least the other girl gets to do the more prestigious performance.
What do you guys think? Is this a normal way to run a theatre group? Am I just being over sensitive? It's hard not to feel bad when your child is stripped of her self belief and her confidence in front of her peers and comes home distraught.

[bruno2]

Oh dear, unfortunately these things happen all the time Im sure there will be loads more opportunity as L certainly has what it takes. At the end of the day its all good training for the real world .

[songbird]

playing Devils advocate perhaps as both the girls who were originally together are very strong sperformers perhaps they felt they needed one in each group to help carry the others and to impress the paying audience . I know its hard but now committed the strengh of character she has to find by carrying on will definately benefit her in the future as there are plenty of knocks in the industry and often the most talented people end up as understudies why someone with a bit of fame gets the lead its the first thing that they learn at drama school - I understand how she must feel and its so hard as mum to not feel their hurt -been there I am sure she will shine x

[begolina]

From what you say, nobody knows why he did it. I would ask very nicely why that. Maybe there is a perfectly normal organisational reason and it would help to fit with the decision.

[Genevieve]

Perhaps it comes down to the younger girls mum speaking to him - And why would it be a negative that they make such good friends in their groups - its Am Dram and that's why the children go, for the social side too, which should be encouraged and its only a good thing that they are all happy hanging out with their friends - Really odd reaction, - but it could all have been shifted about because of the other childs parents wanting their dd in the other performance slot, which is unfair because as she's younger than your dd, she'll get her turn when she's older. It does sound like a typical thing that can happen with Am Drams, it is infuriating isn't it

[igloobabe]

Oh well, it's their loss.
I am just uploading her recording of No-one But You.

https://soundcloud.com/rosiehodson/no-o ... -26-1-2013

[sapphire]

It was shenanigans like this that resulted in my DD giving up on the local am dram group and going elsewhere ... I think lots of am dram groups are very cliquey unfortunately

[Welsh Mum]

It was shenanigans like this that resulted in my DD giving up on the local am dram group and going elsewhere ... I think lots of am dram groups are very cliquey unfortunately

Unfortunately we have also found this to be true - though must say Dd also had some great experiences.

[francescasmum]

igloobabe, as usual that was beautiful, well done L
With regard to the am dram, it's their loss, I can't imagine anyone there being better than L, she has such an emotive voice when she sings.

[riverdancefan]

She has a beautiful voice!
End of the day it's supposed to fun!
I have listened to lots of friends experiences with AmDram, and I have come to the conclusion that it's not always the most suitable or talented that are cast in the most appropriate roles and I guess like any group club or society, there are those who are very controlling, and those who feel like their noses are put out of joint.
But like others have said there may be other reasons for the decision? Could you not have an informal chat with the director?
She'll be awesome which ever shows she does x

[Livy2]

Hi,

I think it's always difficult for the people organising am-dram. My DD is hoping to get a part in Whistle down the Wind but was told last week that Swallow who she wants to audition for has to be 16 and DD will be 15 and a half by the time of the show. Turns out that the director who knows her well though she was 16 already but says there's a bit where the pair of them run away together and he didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable acting with a 15 yr old. I wonder if it's because she actually only 5 ft and other girls who are 16 should be taller? Having said that, if the part gets given to one of the other girls in particular, who looks about 10 in all aspects I shall be annoyed

On the whole, I've always found it best for my DD to talk to the director, he tries to be fair and explain his reasons for his decisions. Is this something your DD could do? At least if she understands why the changes have been made, then if the director hasn't got a reasonable excuse then you know where you stand.

[igloobabe]

I'm afraid L is going through a very sensitive phase. She is quite tall, so she feels too big and constantly says she's ugly!
She won't ask, because she suspects that the female part of the husband and wife partnership doesn't like her, and she doesn't want to let her have the satisfaction of knowing she's upset. She won't let me ask, because she says they won't tell me the truth anyway.
I wish we could afford to pay for a better group, but we can't! And some folk on here say it's just as bad at the more expensive ones!

Thanks for the lovely comments, they mean a lot.

[francescasmum]

We love Lucy and think she is beautiful.

[igloobabe]

(wiping away tear) thanks, I really hope F and L can meet one day, F is adorable! Wow, imagine F as Little Cossette and L as Eponine - dynamite!

[francescasmum]

Are you a mind reader, I've had those thoughts before,