What would you do ?

Voice your opinions on subjects you may feel strongly about

Moderator: busybusybusy

Post Reply
User avatar
bruno2
OSCAR Award
Posts: 1114
Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2009 12:02 pm

What would you do ?

Post by bruno2 »

I feel so sad that after four years of regular saturday morning visit to my dd's singing teacher it has now stopped. He was a fantastic character and so sweet with my dd he himself was a retired opera singer and sang all over the world, we built up a very special relationship and now sadly this Tuesday he suddenly passed away. My dd only saw him last week and sadly her last song was in fact "Time to Say Goodbye" ! We will miss him so much, he was someone you could talk to at about anything. Well I did visit him in hospital the day before he died, which was so sad, but now his funeral is on the day my 10 year old plays for his City in the school boys rugby. My friends say i dont have to prove to anyone how much I thought of this delightfull man and my son is most important, but I do feel terribly guilty and sad. What would you do ?
User avatar
missmoneypenny
BAFTA Award
Posts: 878
Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2008 11:18 pm

Re: What would you do ?

Post by missmoneypenny »

Oh dear, that is very sad, sorry to hear. What a shame that the funeral falls on a day when you have other commitments :( It sounds like you were very fond of this man and I wonder if you might regret it if you don't go and pay your respects in some way - I have had a situation similar to yours a few years ago and I do wish I had gone in retrospect - could you talk to your son and see what he thinks? Failing going in person maybe you could send some flowers - I think there are plenty of ways of saying goodbye. Hope you manage to find a solution you feel happy with xx
igloobabe
OSCAR Award
Posts: 1003
Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2010 2:31 pm

Re: What would you do ?

Post by igloobabe »

Bruno, I do feel for you, this is so sad. I agree with missmoneypenny, have a talk with your son. There will be other rugby matches, but this funeral will never happen again. Is there anyone else going to support your son? I hope you can find a way that leaves you feeling you did the right thing.
User avatar
Nicola
GRAMMY Award
Posts: 400
Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2007 3:43 pm
Location: stoke-on-trent

Re: What would you do ?

Post by Nicola »

I have to say, I'd go to the rugby any day, and if the old man was as lovely as you say he was, that's what he'd want you to do, in fact I'm sure he'd be horrified you were even beating yourself up about the choice.

I'd pay your respects to any close family and send flowers in advance, and explain the reason for your absence at the funeral, but life is definitely about living. Leaving some flowers at the grave (if there is one) every now and then over the ensuing months will mean SO much more to the family than turning up next week out of duty, while your heart is elsewhere.

I have someone close in a cemetery, and on the odd occasions that I go and find that someone else has been there too, I am unbelievably touched that my someone meant so much to other people that they take the time and effort to make sure we know they're not forgotten!

..and coming from Wales, where rugby is ALMOST a religion anyway, I'm sure his family would entirely stand by your decision. you don't HAVE to be present to prove that you cared.
User avatar
Welsh Mum
OSCAR Award
Posts: 1255
Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2007 3:21 pm
Location: Wales

Re: What would you do ?

Post by Welsh Mum »

So sorry hear this - he was a well known and well regarded man here. It is a shame you have 2 commitments on the same day - can you make both? I suppose it depends on where the funeral is. Perhaps you could just make the service? If not I would go and see your son - it is a huge thing to play for S, and he will want his Mum there to witness it. The first time will never happen again, even if he plays for them many times over. These moments are precious to families. You can be saying your own private farewell to him even when watching the game.
The highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive.
islandofsodor
OSCAR Award
Posts: 1162
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2007 10:09 pm

Re: What would you do ?

Post by islandofsodor »

I would go and see your son. Whilst it would be lovely to pay your respects the living are more important than the dead and I'm sure he would agree.
User avatar
elena
BRIT Award
Posts: 64
Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:08 pm
Location: North West

Re: What would you do ?

Post by elena »

So sorry to hear this, Bruno!
I remember you were telling me about him on here!
He did a lovely job with your daughter`s singing - she is absolutely delight to hear!
I, personally will say farewell to a great teacher as there will be many more matches hopefully, but it`s an entirely my view on such things.
Thinking of you at that very sad time!
Whatever you`ll decide - it will be fine!
Hugs!!!
I am native Russian.

"An ounce of luck is better than a pound of wisdom." italian proverb
User avatar
bruno2
OSCAR Award
Posts: 1114
Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2009 12:02 pm

Re: What would you do ?

Post by bruno2 »

Thank you everyone. The funeral service was the same time as the rugby match so it was impossible to make the two. Anyway I decided and went to watch the game. Geoff (singing teacher) was a huge fan of the rugby and I know he would have said "GO SEE THE RUGBY". :) It was a great game and it was lovely to see my son in his ALL WHITES jersey, I was very proud. I will go and visit Geoff's grave and I know he totally would have understood my situation today. Thank you everyone youve given me alot of comfort. x
igloobabe
OSCAR Award
Posts: 1003
Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2010 2:31 pm

Re: What would you do ?

Post by igloobabe »

Well done to your ds and I'm sure Geoff would approve. :)
sophiesocks
OSCAR Award
Posts: 1208
Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2010 8:35 pm

Re: What would you do ?

Post by sophiesocks »

I think the rugby match sounds like a wonderful tribute to a wonderful man.
Post Reply