Unofficial advice for the dwarf auditions in Wolverhampton

[paulears]

I note the audition for the kids to play the dwarfs in the Linda Lusardi pantomime.

We did the same show last year, and had the same system in place. As all the people on this forum are not really 'members of the public' - in that you all seem to understand much better how things work, I figured I could just mention some real issues that I had as the company manager who had to deal with the kids, once selected. I really felt that a few, who got through the auditions didn't really understand how these kinds of show work.

The height requirement is pretty important, as they often stand in a row - so they get their character by the height. In practice, the real problem is the heads. They're not that heavy - but viability is a bit difficult. We had one who actually lived 70 miles away - he was on a bus and train to get there, stayed overnight, then went home. This kind of thing is really silly. My job at the half should be checking the actors, but I had to make counting dwarfs a critical feature - the head chaperone would know in advance, when the mums called in that someone was ill, so they'd phone the parents who were the standbys and then sometimes they'd have to be fetched from school, and brought to the theatre. All the paperwork was fine, so we could do this - but the number of parents who were not helpful made my life very difficult. We also found that parents somehow expected things to be changed specifically for them. In rehearsals, it was clear some of the kids were very timid - something I suspect won't be a problem here, but the worst thing was that some at the auditions did very well, but just weren't theatre types - and basic stuff like stage left and stage right were not understood. If people on here are going to go to the auditions, it's a great help to the people on the panel - Sam and Jonathan, if the kids let them know they have been on the stage before. If perhaps they've been on the Wolverhampton stage before in maybe a dance show - that's good to know. Some of our dwarfs had never been on stage, and were pretty scared. The ex-dance school kids were fine.

I'm speaking out of turn, as this isn't one of my shows, but is the same company - and the kids are not required to actually speak (or at least mine weren't). Thetricky bit is that their dialogue is recorded - it's grown up voices, and then kids need to do over the top gesture to show that they are speaking, so it's turns, head nodding, hands, and body language. So a child who knows how to speak without speaking, if you know what I mean will have an advantage, I'm sure.

They won't be interested in the parents - except from the point of deciding if you can be trusted to get the kids in and out as agreed. Phoning up and saying your child is tired, so won't be in today is not how to do it. A few even attempted to get me to change things to suit their kids. Could we change the order tonight because she's got a sore leg and I don't want her to jump up and down, so she is going to swap with the one next door. Telling me that it was already arranged didn't work too well. If their company manager is like me - he will simply want to count to seven. If the chaperones can replace the kids without fuss, they will. Just be aware though, that if the parents promise they will do the shows, having a family party, or needing to do go to a football match are not good reasons for having a day off. The kids will have fun, but they're treated a little like the dancers - kind of expected to always make it work, colds, coughs and ear ache can be dealt with if notified in advance - but not half an hour before curtain up. Last year, when let down yet again, I actually got a lovely lady from the office who was a little vertically challenged to go on with the kids.

This is a great show to do because Linda is really great to work with and she and Sam have kids of their own - so they do understand the problems - but it is hard work, and it's a lot of performances, so expect some resistance from schools. It is a big commitment - and last year too many of mine had parents who got fed up delivering them and collecting them after show 80! If yours gets put on the reserve list, I wouldn't worry - all my reserves did quite a few shows, and of course didn't get bored. The team will be very interested in the kids - but have a very low tolerance to pushy parents - and we all know some of those! Good luck.